Sometimes You Just Need A Good Cry

The Confusion Growing Up

Growing up, I was a natural cry baby. According to the stories, I cried a lot when I was a baby. I remember crying a lot when I was younger; for any and everything. It gets on my nerves just thinking about how much I used to cry.

My Dad was not a fan of tears because your feelings were hurt. He only allowed us to cry if we were physically hurt. So, I had to learn to suck it up. From the outside it sounds really bad, but I now know he was trying to teach us not to allow people or circumstances to affect us in that way.

Buuut… he could have just said that without threatening our lives (lol, gotta love my Dad).

From what I can remember, my mom was just as annoyed with my tears, but I think she understood I had feelings! We all do! (Dad!)

Crying Phase Over

Even though my crying all the time just because the wind blew the wrong way ended, I still remember what I was taught. When things in life got tough I would cry myself to sleep. I would hate how draining it felt and all of the negative thoughts that came along with the tears.

I then began to convince myself that because I wasn’t physically hurt, it would be okay and the tears were not needed.

I now know that was another way in which I was suppressing my feelings and not dealing with my reality.


Embrace Your Tears and Let It Out

I have now come to learn that crying is a form of healing. Crying is cleansing. Crying is letting out everything that you have buried deep down.

Being a black woman, I am EXPECTED to be strong and to keep it together. Many days I even have that expectation for myself.

As we know, expectations are just a set up for disappointment.

Then there are those times when I’ve kept it together for a day too long and it needs to just come out. I allow myself cry and I cleanse myself of the negative feelings and energy.

Most importantly, I allow myself to heal.

If you think crying is for the weak, then think again.

Question of the week

What are your thoughts on crying?

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3 thoughts on “Sometimes You Just Need A Good Cry

  1. Very wise.

    There are similarities with my childhood–– I used to cry a lot when very small, too. And end up screaming, shouting and crying at times throughout all of my childhood–– due to misunderstandings between me and my Dad, who was very non-emotional. My Mum was also not understanding in an intellectual way, but was emotionally.

    It’s good that you are getting this out and processing it by writing it down :). Have you had any therapy, or planning to?


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experience. Therapy is definitely something I’m going to do as soon as I have the resources. But in the mean time I find other ways like this one to help me process the things I’ve been through and at the same time helping others as I share the things I’ve learned.

      Liked by 1 person

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