When you only have yourself
There was a time in my life where I only had myself to depend on. There was no person I knew of at the time that was going through what I was, so I kept it in.
I dealt with my problems and feelings all on my own for so long that it still effects the way I communicate in my marriage and close relationships.
I became good at burying my feelings by staying busy and not really give myself time to dwell on all the things that weren’t happening “right” in my life.
The invisible circle of love
For so long I felt like I had no one to talk to or that I could relate to that I had no choice but figure things out on my own.
Because I became so use to relying on myself and suppressing my own emotions that when I had people who loved me and wanted me to open up I wouldn’t.
I never saw the point in talking about the challenges in my life if it was not going to change anything. (I still do feel this way to an extent.)
But then when something “bad” happened I would go through so many emotions. I would tell myself that I was alone and that no one would understand how I felt even if I told them.
I use to get so hung up on thinking that no one would understand that I kept it inside.
I told myself so many times that I was alone and I had no one. At one point in my life that may have been true. But in my current reality that wasn’t true, I wasn’t alone and I had people around me that loved me and was there for me.
I came to realize, that although me sharing what I was going through may not change the situation or the person that is listening may not be able to relate to.
It does allow them to give me their love, and I’m able to receive it because I opened up.
Our minds will tell us some crazy things, some of them so dark that it can convince us that we are not worth living and we are unloved, when that is the furthest thing from the truth.
Only the way for us to know the truth is by opening up to someone that is close to us and letting them in. Allowing them to pour their love into you.
I know its scary and the thought of being vulnerable with someone and them rejecting you will run through your mind. It may possibly happen, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying.
I know there is someone, at least one person who loves you and allows you to feel comfortable enough to open up to them.
If you don’t have someone start building new relationships and I’m sure that someone will come along.
Take a leap of faith, your life depends on it!
Question of the week:Can you relate? Do you let yourself believe you are alone and unloved?